AAAAAHH!!!!

ugh...so this year is just so....down...ya kno? like its the same thing everyday. i hate tedium and its getting me down...i hate it. i hate school, but i hate staying home too. just about everything now-a-days is super boring. and i keep getting sick and shiz...i mean its nice to have a break from school every once in a while, but ive been absent for about two weeks. ugh. why is everything so...depressing? i mean...its like nothing is happening. we're just pawns moving through the motions. theres no feeling or sense of why were doing anything...were just...moving. and i want more friends. its like usually im happy with just a close few, but i've alse experienced what its like to be in a big group of friends, and i liked that as well. that might be why i like rotc so much. its like one big family. just about everyone is accepted. i dont think its a thing of acceptance though, its just havong all those people there. u never get bored, ur always having fun. i miss is. right now it feels like im wasting my life. im not doing anything productive. toady doan asked me if i liked last year or this year better. i said a little bit of both. i lied to myself. this year sucks! one of my best friends moves away, were having more money troubles than ever, i lost a close friend cuz he doesnt want to bother to even say hi, i feel like my life is worthless right now, i feel like such a loner half the time, it just sucks. everything this year sucks. ugh i hate it. dont get me wrong...i wanna be grateful for life and all, but im so BORED! i hate being bored. and not in the literal sense...ya kno? just like there is nothing happening in my life. day in and day out, its the same thing. i miss last year. talkg to my friend from fifth grade made me miss fifth grade too. i had a big group of friends, i lived somewhere where i could do something on weekends and after school, we werent struggling with money, and now that i think about it, i was in the "popular" group. i dont like using that word, cuz its not really the right one, but thats the only way i can explain it. i loved that year...it kinda of depresses me that i lost those good friends just cuz i had to move. i love you guys, but i miss them too...ya kno? sorry this was really long, but it felt good to vent. oh and doan, i dont hate sims, i just dont like the game.