father time...

holy hell doan...did u already read and reply to the journal?! damness yo. thats some awesome shit. the voting thing is one of the gadgets when you go to edit or change ur blog or watever. how come u always have interesting stories?? its not fair mann. omgeezness!!! i cant wait eclipse is out in 2 hours and 57 min!!! yay!!! sucks i gotta go with marissa, but watever. its all good. hmmm...so did justice move eyet or wat?? havent heard fromher in a while, she hasnt even updated her blog. does it seem like now that its summer theres way less motivation to fill the journal?? feels like that to me. i mean its fun, i just wanna get it done already. then we gotta do the ceremony. time time time, theres so little of it, yet so much at the same time...ya kno wat i mean?? how come i cant answer that question huh??

RING!!!

wat the hell mann?? wat is wrong with me?!?! ya kno...one min. i think im gettin over him...the next min....BAM were talkin and everything comes rushing back. its friken ridiculous...well heres the story. i put up the countdown thing till eclipse as my status on fb. well first zack commented on it, but nobody cares, then jonathan commented and said sumthin along the lines of eclipse wooo...but with exclamation and caps and stuff then i said haha awesome, then he said yeah u dont even know how to call no one more im still ur hubby then i said sorry i dont like talkin on the phone then he said theres facebook, then i said yea and IMd him, then i got really annoyed cuz he always talks bout himself. its really annoying, which would be why i got annoyed lolz. but seriously he does. then he said we should hang out this week and i said yea and asked if he was goin to the eclipse premiere he said yea i asked which theater he said sumthin idk, but its not the one im goin to, then he said aww, then he stopped talking. is this annoying?? kinda feels like it is. i feel like im back in school again. i dont wanna think about him all the time there is other stuff that should be in my head, not just him. oh doan we should go to the mall or sumthin before i leave, i dont have any money, but i figured it could still be fun. omg i cant friken wait for tuesday night!!! its gunna be freakin awesome!!! cept' i gotta go with marissa. i mean its not like im gunna be talkin to her or anything but still...ya kno??? now im just ramblin...well havent really talked to anybody in a while, maybe if somebody answered her phone DOAN!!! or replied on IM DOAN!!! haha id say jk but im serious, im bored mann...answer!!!

ridin on a jet-plane...

wow its been loong time since i blogged. well nuthin much as happened tho so no real reason to anyway :P i havent done anything...yet. leavin for my trip in nine days. damn its so close. im not even freakin out and bein all excited and stuff. im acting like its just another day. went on a huge shopping spree this weekened to get a bunch of stuff for the trip that ill prolly never use again. dont you hate that?? i also got me some 25 gigs o' memory for my camcorder. but even then thats only like 600 min. of video. i really hope they have computers or somethin i can access in the hotels or whatever. cuz if not im majorly fucked. :) haha...wat else? i got my debit card. its not like i used it, i gotta save the money in the account for my trip. i got 280 bucks to spend. yay. and watevers left, i hope i get to spend it here, maybe chill at the mall with MY debit card and WITHOUT my mom. i went to the allergist. turns out im allergic to cats. WTF?! i was in the docs office and i looked at mom and i was like WTF?! its friken amazing. so if justice got her computer taken away, how did she tell u she got it taken away?? lolz wat else has been happenin this summer?? NOTHING!! yea, summer kinda sucks so far. i cant wait for that plane ride. i love being on a plane...even tho im asleep half the time. my mom is pissing me the fuck off. shes such a fucking bitch. what the hell is her damn problem?1 damn how can someone be such a bitch?? shes sooo fucking irritating. doan do u want the journal before i leave?? im not takin it with me and it aint gunna do any good sittin in my room. well...bye.

you sure??

ok...well i just added a bunch of bullshit to my blog. why?? i dunno. i was bored. im prolly gunna take it off. especially the reaction thing at the bottom. that is stupid and definetly not wat i expected. the poll thing at the top. i might keep it, but for some reason the question isnt showing up, plus the fact that only two people actually read this. the question btw is: are you ready?? i dunno, just somethin fun to do i guess. the search thing...maybe i dunno yet on that one either. the list thing tho. ill prolly keep that. looks ok i guess. aint hurtin anyone. well watevs bye.

u still there doan?

ima man now?? thanks doan!! well i guess its better to be ur dream man than sum lozers hobo buddy. haha were u talkin bout hao? mann....where do u get that mad libs shit yo?! hmmm...j-dog, are u really gunna answer all my questions?! AWESOME!! haha hmmm...wat this time? dude!! u kno what this reminds me of?!?! that one part in twilight!! where edward is questioning bella!!! haha!!! aaanywaaay....hmmm why are u friends with my mom on fb??? wierd. why doesnt doan ever get on IM anymore?? im gunna keep askin that till she answers. are u guys watchin pretty little liars?? i mean, are u guys actually gunna follow the show. i think i will. it looks pretty good. im not usually the one for drama, but...ill make an exception. haha. wat else?? i miss school. i miss all the people. i feel so isolated. its not fun. ugh. i really want texting back. instead of having to go thru the stupid internet to talk to anybody. and half the time nobody interesting is on. oh...guess wat. i got my ticket!! yea!!. i cant wait. 8 days!!! :D!!! haha if we all wanna go to the same time, u should prolly get ur guys tickets soon. cuz the 12:01 showing is already sold out, and i got stuck with the 12:02 showing :P cuz i waited for stupid marissa who promised me she wass gunna get the ticket. betcha if i hadnt waited for her i woulda gotten the 12:01 showing. anyway. i dont know how many is left, so u guys better hurry. justice. u can probably stay at my house that night if u need to. u too doan, if u wanna. well hmmm...wat else is goin on in my life? NOTHING!! honestly, i hate summer. especially this year. it still feels like the beginning of spring. ugh i hate washington. well im outtie. bye :)

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch

well...the conversation lasted maybe a whole ten min. i hate that but i was really happy when he IMd me. its seems like all my doubt is gone when im actually talking to him. my "love for him is rekindled" lolz cheesy i kno, but it fits. well anyway sorry i called u doan. i was hoping you'd be up, but i guess not. i was gunna pick up the journal. ill just do it later maybe. im prolly getting annoying trying to get it, but...i dunno. hmmm. for justice: how many sq. ft. is your house? what color is it? are you gunna paint your room? you should. i think itd look cool. you should make it like black white and red...haha lolz. i like those colors in the right balance. theyre nice. ok uh. one more maybe...how often you gunna visit yo?! wait doesnt brittany live in puyallup?? are you goin to the same school?? oohh!! haha lolz j/k maaybe. haha i say maybe alot. oh btw the title of my blog is the name of a town in Wales. im gunna be visiting there. ok buh-bye.

11:11 friken rocks mann!!!

im friken ecstatic. why you ask?? guess who IMd me!!! yea!!! thats right!!! lolz. i dont kno why im so happy...just am. :D yay!! haha theres nothin else to write cept that.

Jonathan
WIFEYY!!!!

Me
HEY HUBBY!!!!

Jonathan
I MISS U!!!

Me
MISS U TOO!!!

why did i put that up there?? i dont kno. just felt like it. it felt appropriate. yes ok...well i gotta finish this damn project soo...bye

traveling...

this summer is turning out to be real suckish. nothing has happened. it doesnt even feel like summer. honestly, i wanna go back to school. but that aint gunna happen is it?? oh well. im am soo bored. why doesnt doan ever get on IM anymore?? huh doan? why?? lolz. when were you bein rude?? well...ugh i dunno. theres nuthin to write. its friken ridiculous. haha i seem to be usin that word alot lately. oh, if you happen to read this before tomorrow doan and you'll be up at like 9:30 call me so i can pick up the journal. if you dont call me then...i dunno. watevs yo. how are we supposed to get the journal to justice if shes in puyallup?? what date are you actually moving? i think we should give it to you until you move. hmm...wat else?? i dont really kno. usually id ramble about jonathan. i realize thats probably annoying. my apologies. but even then, theres nuthin to say bout him anyway. i havent talked to him since the last day of school. still didnt sign my yearbook...butthead. lolz. when did you guys start your blogs?? have you had them over a year?? thatd be awesome. so im gunna go now. bye!!

kinda tough my ass...

This survey is kinda tough, think you can handle it?
its a friken survey...

Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you?
nope

What did the first text in your inbox say? From Who?
no texting >.<

Is there anyone you want to come see you?
yes...kinda

Are you listening to music right now, if so what?
the final countdown :P it was the next song in my playlist lolz

Do you still live with your parents?
im only fifteen...what do you think???

Have you ever broken someone's heart?
maybe...

Anyone you would like to get things straight with?
Yes.

Have you ever fallen asleep in someone's arms?
yup :) quite comfy lolz

Honestly, who was the last person to tell you that they love you?
My mumsy

What's your favorite color?
"It's a tie between deep purple and black." -Justice
I'd have to agree with justice, plus bright green :)

Were you happier or sadder this time last year?
i dunno...same??

Do you think you can last in a relationship for six months?
I hope i could...i think i could yea...

Will you talk to the person you like/love tonight?
itd be nice, but prolly not...

Do you like Red bull?
never tried it

If you could choose between a million dollars or being able to fly, you would choose?
million bucks easy

Ever kissed someone who smokes?
smoking is disgusting, i cant even stand to be around someone who smokes

When was the last time you cleaned your room?
seriously clean?? like three weeks ago

If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
if its the person i hope, yes. anyone else...i dunno

How many people are you texting?
no texting >.<

How are you feeling right now?
like im procrastinating but i dont wanna do the damn work

Who were you with today?
my mom

Do you usually apologize first?
no...bad habit

Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?
rainy lets you think...sunny lets you be happy...no preference

Is your last name longer than six letters?
by two

Do you know anyone who's been in jail?
yes

Do you know how to play poker?
kinda sorta a little bit

Where did you sleep last night?
On my bed

Are you wearing jeans, sweatpants, or pajama pants?
jeans

Does anyone like you?
I thought they did...but i dont know anymore...

Is there a person you CANNOT stand?
Genev-icky

Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?
i already have the design

In the past week have you cried?
I dont cry

Do you like the color green?
as long as its NEON!!! :D

Are you missing anyone right now?
yes... :(

Would you ever dye your hair black?
i've thought about it for maybe two seconds

Do you like babe or baby more?
hun...

What are you doing this weekend?
gettin my debit card :D and goin to a potluck :P

At a restaurant what do you ask for to drink?
coke

Did you have a girlfriend/ boyfriend on your last birthday?
no

You like someone right?
i think so...

unknown

hey there!! ima chillen at doans house yo. well school is out..its all over...only one question left unanswered, but thats ok, im cool with it tho, well i think i am at least. im not really hung up on that part...i mean, i still think about him, but mostly cuz theres nuthin better to do...well oh well. summer hasnt really hit me yet. doesnt feel like its summer tho, feels like a weekend. ya kno?? i wonder how next years gunna be...hmm not much to say really. oh well bye

free-bird

well yesterday was awesome, and today was pretty cool. party was fun, hope you guys had fun too. mann alma pulled a bitch move yo. said she was comin and she didnt, mom got mad lolz. theres really nothin much else to say. edward is still scarin the shit outta me haha. uhm, what else?? i dunno. hmmm...well im not so...i dunno, hung up on jonathan. i mean, i dont feel like i need to know, i dont feel like i have to tell you what he said on me status [:)], i did go to his page, but when i got there, i just didnt feel like i usually do, so "obsessed" or whatever with what he said and if it pertains to me. ive had a realization, im free mann. i think i still like him, alot, its just not controling my mind like it was. uh...oh when do u want your necklace back justice?? do you wanna wait till sixth or do you want it in the morning.

ceremony

Well...he's not on tonite so...no dice, :P well since SMOEONE wasnt at school today, SHE doesnt know what happened. although SHE probably wont say anything encouraging. anyway, i convinced marissa to tell what she was talking about at the sleep over. jonathan either told marissa or he told hicks who told marissa that he has feelings for me, which gave me that extra boost of...courage to ask him. but he wasnt on. then i realized something, dont remember when but...what am i supposed to do afterwards?? i mean not right after, but the following days. am i supposed to just act like it never happened?? am i supposed to mention it or something?? hmmm....i dunno. well anyway, how did u guys like pretty little liars?? i think thats gunna be my summer show, it actually looks pretty good. p.s. i know who "A" is lolz. how was the graduation?? same as last year basically or totally different? who won the orchestra award? what did trinh win? cj's wierd. i was walking to second and he saw me and he kept looking at me, not like glancing but he was like staring at me...did u tell him u werent gunna be there today?? wat else happened today?? ed gave me a dollar then i went to the vending machine to get some chips and they got stuck :P how suckish is that?? woah...sixth was different, more....relaxed without you. and u missed an extra credit chance. so...yea.

message sent...?

well...im bored...like extremley bored. is it bad that i'm tryin get jonathan to acknowledge my birthday?? not like i want anything, just ya know....happy birthday..is that so bad?? i dont think so...do you?? hmm well other than that i really don't know what to do tonite...hmmm well DOAN didnt get on hotmail...so i cant talk to her, jonathan is occupied with those games on facebook, justice is in the shower....wow i have a really sad life. and i dont think i can do it...i mean i really did try tonite...i did, but one he got offline, andtwo im not sure if i couldve pressed the button...hold on lemme see if hes online now...NO!!! i cant do it...not tonite at least. i feel like im being annoying, everyrime he stops replying, but hes still online i write something...makes me feel like he stopped replying for a reason...and thats not an excuse, honest...well maybe a little, but mostly the first reason...i cant do it. oh my gosh, i really cant do it!! ugh!!! i gotta!! i know i do!! oh my gosh!! can i come over to your house tomorrow doan?? hmmm wat now?? this would be so much easier if someone else did this for me...i dont mean like when i had doan talk to him, i mean someone pretending to be me, that way, maybe i can have some input on what is said, but i wont have to be the one thinking when [ENTER] is pressed...hmmm i dunno. apple kinda sucks...well there desktops anyway, i hate their mouses they are soo annyoing. theres only one button...i mean c'mon...really?? even laptops have two buttons. what the hell, its especially annoying in mr. gaspaires class and im tryin to play halo or whatever...yea. ok so now im just rambling...how can i make him realize itsmy birthday, without saying its my birthday?? i have an idea, but that would take time. hmmm....lets think together. does megumi or clara ever actually read this?? if they do, COMMENT!!! so i know who im actually talking to. im bored now, im gunna go. bye

yield

i was gunna do it...honestly i was. swear. but then he logged out or somethin. im not sure but it said he was offline. i was just about to type it then...BAM!!! "Jonathan is Offline" i started cracking up. maybe its another sign...hmmm...i dunnno. tee-hee

i have to find it...

there is something going on lately and i dont like it. its like the world has turned upside down. i dont kno if im showing signs of depression again, or what but there is something wrong. seriously wrong. its like i cant be happy when im alone. all i seem to think about is johnny and how its the last week of school and that i need to tell him soon or be left in the unknown.and why i cant tell him i like him or ask him if he likes me. and hes just all thats in my head. usually when i think about him, i am happy, but even when im thinking happy thoughts about him, i cant be happy. its like my soul is empty. it sounds extreme and cheesy i know, but theres just something missing. nothing is falling into place right now. but thats not it, well thats the only one i can explain. the rest of it...its just like there is something in the air and its gettin to me. and i kno its getting to justice to. what is it? why is this happening?? everything took a 180 degree turn for hell. its like any happiness is gone from my life now. only when im around people am i happy. i need friends family. makes me realize how important those things are to me. but even then...its like theres something missing. the wierd thing is, is that i dont think im going to find it, i think whent this cloud passes, it will haunt me, like i never tried to figure out. and im not, because i cant. theres nothing wrong, not on the outside at least...its inside. im not good with my inside. but theres gotta be a trigger, i have to find, i need to find. right now, i think that is my only chance at happiness

what is happening?
there is something seriously wrong
it impossible for me to be happy when i am alone
i don't feel strong

there is only one thing i ever think about
it seems the only thing on my mind
i think about what could've been, what still could be
he's the only one that seems worthy of my time

nothing is going right
nothing is falling into its place
has the world turned upside down?
how far has this virus traveled into our subspace

a black mist, swirling inside my head
it has taken control of my soul
what is happening?
why is life such a miserable hellhole?

something...else...has taken control
it taken something of mine, of beauty
but i know i wont't be able to find it
it's going to haunt me

i tried to find it, honestly i did
i searched deep inside
but there is no trigger, no smoking gun
but that is my only chance at happiness on the inside and outside